There are no good single men living in New York City. According to what everyone is constantly telling us. And when Deanna* moved to the city in late 2021 She was the next to see if there was any truth in this claim. Single after having a boyfriend who had been dating her for three months broke up with her through Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was at this time that a private Facebook page called Is we Dating the Same Guy NYC became a recommended follow. The group featured a thorough prescreen survey as well as guidelines for community members that were a bar to entry. It was comprised of 43,000 people. Deanna was interested, so she enrolled.
The community
The group, which was started in the exact purpose of helping women check if their loved ones were seeing others – was founded in March 2022. The majority of major US city has one of these groups now, and the rules are simple: Everyone can be anonymous, not doxxing or sharing sensitive information, nor can screenshots be deleted from the group. There is no harassment, no blame-shifting or hateful remarks. Never tell a man he’s been posted in the group. Following the scandal in the wake of West Elm Caleb, one of the men with whom a lot of women from New York shared negative dating experiences and connected the dots on the internet, it was apparent that many women were in the market for a method to search out the other guys who shared similar experiences.follow the link https://datingfortodaysman.com/ At our site A TikTok user wrote during the day This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
This is pretty much what the group had turned into before Deanna joined. Every time a new version of Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a place for women who seek romantic advice or want to provide advice on men whom they’ve had negative dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is, being a method of emailing other women to entice them via social networks has also become more common. It’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole of screenshots Hinge profiles, tales of a failed hookup, and memes that discuss the problems of modern-day dating. Many of the most popular posts feature pictures of a man with his name asking whether anyone has met or dated the person concerned. Emojis that have a red flag are a frequent appearance on sporadic but alarming posts warning the group of an ex or bad encounter of a bad date, usually with a downward arrow, and the terrifying text See comments for more info.
Dating online has taken over the scene in recent years the last few years, with one study revealing that around 39 percent of heterosexual couples meet their partner on the internet. So it’s natural that the social aspect of romance would change to the digital age. Instead of meeting with group of friends drinking a glass of wine or venting to coworkers, we are now seeking advice from 433,000 women who have had similar, and in some cases almost identical experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie * another group member. Not to say that there aren’t benefits, but it was certainly helpful for myself in terms of clarifying my understanding of dating. There’s nothing to do between women but it is holding men to a higher expectations than before.
It’s obvious to me, however, that certain behaviors that’s supported and facilitated in Are We the Dating the Same Guy can be an issue if displayed by potential partners. Photos, photos of private discussions, and screenshots posted without the consent of another party or knowledge are common. People look through social media accounts on a nearly daily basis. And it’s not that difficult for a person to be into the spotlight. Though Deanna likes being part of the group, she has some reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she says. But I’m thinking you’ll have to deal with the fact that it can become this echo chamber of ‘Men’s got us in trouble for so long, and we’re going to pay it back.
Our society is still the patriarchal system
The world is still an environment of patriarchy. Therefore, until we’re truly equal the online interactions will have different reverberations depending on the backgrounds of each individual. Yet, can a such a group really be empowered in a positive way on one side of the coin, and morally reprehensible atrocity in the name of God on the other? Are We All Dating the Same Guy is hyperlocal and interpersonal-only really useful for individuals who reside and date in the city the organization is based in. The women, as well as the men they write about, could be your neighbor colleague, coworker’s friend, family member, or even your most recently Hinge match. And yet, there’s a loss of personalization that happens when you use the internet, which makes it feel like playing it’s a game. It’s not a stretch to argue that this can be considered as a snub for the participants in both groups, especially when details of private conversations, intimate interactions and even photos are being shared with no prior consent or knowledge, but often for the purpose of sheer entertainment.